“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [they] who [do] not feel afraid, but [they] who [conquer] that fear.”
- Nelson Mandela –
At the very end of last year, in the aftermath of the 29th Conference of the Parties (COP 29), I spent several days, perhaps even weeks in the end, wallowing. Filled with anger and a profound, deep, bone-weary sadness. I felt it in my mind and body; from my head to my toes and everywhere in between. It was a level of post-COP disappointment I'd never experienced before.
I allowed myself to just feel the sadness and anger and all the other emotions I was experiencing. To let them be without judgement, as much as I could.
That “feeling the feels” phase was followed by several days of reflecting on where to go next. I knew that, ultimately, I was being called to step up and step into a more empowered version of myself. But what I really wanted to do was to run away. To find a cabin in the woods to hide in, escape the pain, numb out on chocolate and romance novels (no judgement, anyone who knows me knows I love a good romance) and perhaps learn to knit. Because feeling the feels was uncomfortable. So deeply uncomfortable.
I’ve dedicated my life - or at least my life’s work - to supporting developing countries in the negotiations under the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change (UNFCCC). I’ve long known that the process is imperfect, rife with power imbalances and inequalities. The discussions inside negotiation rooms reflect the geopolitical realities of the outside world.
The UN system is built on power dynamics that were enabled first through imperialism and later colonialism.The social construction of race, because of course, race does not exist in biological terms, was a very deliberate endeavour undertaken by a one group of people, powerful white men from what we call today “developed countries” (this is precisely how they got that way), aimed at creating an “other” to dominate and steal from. However, while race is not real, racism is very real and unfortunately thriving in our world today. It is insidious and systemic, built into the processes that rule our world. It’s woven into the fabric of our societies and certainly into the global world order.
Global climate change exists and persists precisely because the lives and comfort of the Global Minority, matter more than the lives and comfort of those in the Global Majority. Were that not true, climate change would have been abated long ago. Climate change and the lack of action to address it, is evidence that the colonial project is very much alive.
The 134 countries of the Group of 77 and China represent 80 percent of the world’s population. They are the Global Majority. Yet, they must form blocs to negotiate high income countries in the so-called Global North. And yet even then, developing countries still cannot compete with the power of high income or “developed” countries. But make no mistake, they got that way by stealing resources, plundering lands and killing and enslaving others. They are the takers, not the makers. The original gangsters.
The tactics deployed by many of those high-income countries at COP 29 were the most shameful I’ve witnessed in my career thus far. And I’ve unfortunately witnessed plenty of shenanigans over the years. In Baku, once again, the most powerful and well-resourced (at least in economic terms) countries, those who bear historical responsibility for climate change, made sweeping statements about the need for ambition. Broadcasting for the world their commitment to climate action. Statements made, not for the audiences present in those plenaries, but those at home. It’s all a show for their own citizens, to say: “See, how much we’re doing for those others who aren’t like us?”
But away from the bright “lights, camera, action” of plenaries, mandates were laid bare and it became clear: developed countries had no intention of delivering ambition. The finger pointing began. The betrayal of the most vulnerable set in motion. Discussions on the means of implementation, a necessary enabler of scaling up climate action, were blocked by the countries bearing historical responsibility for climate change. The paltry figures in decisions on climate finance are barely worth the paper they are printed on. They ensure that climate finance will, in fact, continue to flow from developing to developed countries in the form of servicing debt. The colonial project is very much alive indeed.
At the end of two weeks of intense negotiations, text on the new collective quantified goal on climate finance was agreed in the culmination of a confusing process with little transparency. We heard tales of bullying throughout the session. Some countries were drip fed updates, others were excluded from discussions entirely while a few were very much running the show. More tales of bullying. Then Parties were called to plenary to see a decision gavelled in that many had not agreed to, while others were forced to make impossible choices prodded by the carrots and sticks to keep them in line.
The outcome of COP 29 was hailed as an “insurance policy for humanity” by Simon Stiell, the Executive Director of the UNFCC. In his opening remarks Stiell stood in front of an image projected of the screen of himself comforting his neighbour, an 85 year old woman called Florence. The two were pictured surrounded by devastation on the island of Carricou in the aftermath of Hurricane Beryl. One wonders if in the privacy of his own mind, Stiell really believes that the outcome of COP 29 truly serves people like Florence and others like her, living on the margins on the frontlines of climate change, subject to the whims of the most powerful.
The truth is that those men who sat at the front of the plenary that fateful morning as COP 29 came to a close, presiding over it like a court as the outcome was gavelled in, were afraid. So deeply afraid. Those men lacked the courage to be bold and brave in the face of adversity. As did those at the helm of developed countries. They likely believed that they would lose if the system that props them up and keeps them in power, crumbles. They must see the world as a zero sum game. I feel sorry for them. I’m sure they found a way to justify the betrayal of the most vulnerable in their minds. Perhaps they told themselves they were saving the multilateral climate regime. But at what cost?
Days after the closing plenary, I spoke with someone who has inside knowledge of the inner workings of climate policy decision making in a developed country. I asked them, “What research do developed countries need to convince them that they can raise hundreds of billions a year with the right legislation and policy frameworks without affecting regular citizens who are just trying to make ends meet?”. My colleague replied, “They know what to do”. Then again: “They know what to do”. I let that wash over me. I suppose I knew that it was true. But to hear it laid out so plainly was jarring.
My colleague continued, explaining further. I was told that those countries that hold all the power, the ones we call “developed”, they have the knowledge and they possess the tools they need to make change. They just don’t have the courage to deploy them. We don’t have a knowledge gap. We have a leadership gap. And that leadership gap just got a whole lot wider, as we all know, Dear Reader. What we urgently need to cultivate more leadership and more leaders is courage. A lot more courage.
The leadership gap is afflicted and perhaps also exacerbated by a definition problem. Our understanding of leadership is plagued by a lexicon that doesn’t capture the truth of what’s going on, at least not in the English language, the linga franca of global, multilateral processes. We flagrantly use words that grant some individuals titles they haven’t learned, bestow on them qualities they don’t embody.
In the organisational management literature, where leadership is a common theme, leaders are defined as drivers of change while managers are depicted as those who maintain the status quo (Kotterman, 2006). Leaders develop visions of alternative futures and inspire others to work towards them, while managers focus on processes that keep things the same. That’s not inherently bad if you want to keep things the same, but it’s bad news for change and a death sentence for transformation.
Many of the folks we called leaders, and certainly the men who presided over the outcome of COP 29 are in fact, managers. They strive to keep things the same because they are afraid, so deeply afraid, of losing the power they’ve consolidated. They make bold statements, crafted for them by gifted speech writers, snippets of prose written for the media. But under their sharp suits and articulate speech, beneath their degrees and accolades, those people we call leaders lack courage. I imagine that in private moments they allow themselves to unmask and acknowledge that they are, in fact, terrified.
This twisted phenomenon makes change very difficult. Those with the most power typically want to keep things the same. They lack courage to make the changes that are needed. And those who have courage, don’t always get celebrated for it. Sometimes they lose the next election or worse.
It is widely acknowledged that so much of what makes the world go around is broken. Yet those employed to fix what’s broken are often the very people who benefit from keeping it just the way it is. As poet, activist and self-proclaimed “warrior”, Audre Lorde, who was, herself from Carricou, so wisely said:
“The Master’s tools will never dismantle the Master’s house.”
[Note, if you want to know more about Lorde’s work, I highly recommend engaging with the work of author, poet and self-proclaimed troublemaker and love evangelist, Alexis Pauline Grant and in particular, reading her most recent book, Survival Is A Promise. You can also read her text of repair, Tell the Others, from Ways of Repair: Loss and Damage, a project under the Loss and Damage Collaboration’s Art and Culture project.]
As Lorde pointed out so eloquently, those in positions of power are unlikely to deliver the kind of transformation the world needs. How can they? Would you want to dismantle a home you built or inherited if you were perfectly comfortable living in it? Not likely. So, if the managers at the helm of national governments and those driving multilateral processes can’t make change, then who can?
The answer is: We can, Dear Reader. We can.
How, you ask? By being brave.
By summoning courage and stepping into the power we already have. By becoming the kind of leaders we want to be led by. By developing visions of an alternative future we want to live in and inspiring others to work towards it with us.
But before I expand on that, back to me languishing after COP 29 . . . I let myself feel sad. I let myself feel angry. I let myself feel frustration. I briefly considered a career changer and ultimately decided that pivoting would be a betrayal of the most vulnerable. If I did that, I would effectively be walking out of the arena. It would not be stepping up, but stepping down. Running away. And that’s not me. I don’t run away from challenges, I face them head on. It doesn’t always look pretty, but I rarely back down from a challenge.
A long time ago I pledged to step into the arena and I did just that. And every year I renew that commitment by staying there, even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.
The arena is a metaphorical place where change gets made. It comes from a speech made in 1910 by former president of the United States, Theodore Roosevelt. I first learned the concept of the arena and the speech upon which it is based, through the work of researcher and thought leader Brené Brown. Entitled Citizen in a Republic, it was delivered by Roosevelt in the spring of 2010 Sorbonne in Paris, a year after his last term in office ended. Here is an excerpt (note I’ve rejigged the language a little because it’s 2025):
“It is not the critic who counts; not the [person] who points out how the strong [person] stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the [person] who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if [they] fail, at least fail while daring greatly, so that [their] place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
So, here’s what we’re gonna do, Dear Reader. We’re going to play a bigger game, you and me. If you’re up for it, if you dare, I invite you to step into the arena with me.
We’re gonna make mistakes. We absolutely will. It might be messy. We might get confused as we forge a new path. We’ll occasionally get disoriented and we might (temporarily) lose our way. And some days are gonna suck. We might feel like crying and sometimes we will. But, when we do, we’ll turn towards, not away from, each other. We’ll choose love.
And here’s even better news, Dear Reader! On other days we’re gonna to feel like the whole world is shining inside of us. Some days we’ll feel like warriors, bringing positive change into the world like never before. We’ll hold our chests back, heads high and chins tipped up with our hands on our hips, feeling like superheroes. Feeling like we could do anything. And we can. We can do anything, Dear Reader.
Because institutions, the so-called rules of the game that guide the way our world works, are entirely made up. They really, truly are. They were made up mostly by old white men, now long dead. Men who were very, very afraid.
But we don’t have to abide by those outdated rules. We can choose differently. Because, just as the rules of the game were made, they can be un-made. We can choose new, or in truth, to revert to old, ways of working and doing that will enable us to create a world in which all humans, all other species and all ecosystems are thriving on a healthy planet.
This is our path this year, Dear Reader. A journey to courageous leadership. A path and a process that will invite each of us to step into a more empowered version of ourselves and to forge a new world together. It will be a little like the blind leading the blind because none of us really knows what we’re doing (and I definitely don’t). But let’s throw caution to the wind and do it anyway. Let’s embark on this wild ride together.
I promise it will be better than standing still, paralysed by fear, keeping things the same because we’re afraid of what we don’t know. As marine biologist, author and thought leader Ayana Elizabeth Johnson prompts us to ask, “What if we act as if we love the future?” What might be possible then?
Let’s find out together.
Stay tuned for next month’s installment on the first of many foundations to step into courageous leadership, play a bigger game and change the world. A little preview: It starts with loving ourselves. As almost everything does.
Erin Roberts is the founder of the Climate Leadership Initiative and supports the amazing team delivering the New Generation program, currently working with its third cohort of phenomenal young climate leaders who are making change in the world. She believes that a world in which all humans, all other species and all ecosystems are thriving on a healthy planet is completely possible. And hopes you’ll join her in working towards it.
References and further reading:
Abimbola, O. et al. (Racism and climate (In)Justice: How Racism and Colonialism Shape the Climate Crisis and Climate Action. Washington, DC. Heinrich Boell Foundation [online] Available at: https://us.boell.org/sites/default/files/2021-03/FINAL%20-%20Racism%20and%20Climate%20%28In%29Justice%20Framing%20Paper.pdf.
Brown, B. (2018). Dare To Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. London: Random House. Find it here: https://bookshop.org/p/books/dare-to-lead-brave-work-tough-conversations-whole-hearts-brene-brown/9586434?ean=9780399592522.
Brown, B. (2015). Daring Greatly. How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Parent, and Lead. London: Penguin Books. Find it here: https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/daring-greatly-how-the-courage-to-be-vulnerable-transforms-the-way-we-live-love-parent-and-lead-brene-brown/4189370?ean=9780241257401.
Burke, T. and B. Brown (2021). You Are Your Best Thing: Vulnerability, Shame Resilience and the Black Experience: An anthology. London: Ebury Publishing. Find it here: https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/you-are-your-best-thing-tarana-burke/5753616?ean=9781785043826.
Davis, A.Y. (2022). Freedom Is a Constant Struggle. London: Penguin Books. Find it here: https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/freedom-is-a-constant-struggle-angela-y-davis/6010718?ean=9780241994603.
Eberhardt, J.L. (2020) Biased: Uncovering the Hidden Prejudices that Shape Our Lives. London: Cornerstone Press. Find it here: https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/biased-dr-jennifer-eberhardt/2639505?ean=9781786090195.
Evans, S. and V. Viisainen (2023). “Revealed: how colonial rule radically shifts historical responsibility for climate change” Carbon Brief (26 November 2023). Find it here: https://www.carbonbrief.org/revealed-how-colonial-rule-radically-shifts-historical-responsibility-for-climate-change/
Godin, S. (2008). Tribes: We Need You To Lead Us. London: Penguin House. Find it here: https://bookshop.org/p/books/tribes-we-need-you-to-lead-us-with-earbuds-seth-godin/15559636?ean=9781591842330.
Gumbs, A.P. (2024a). “Tell The Others”. Ways of Repair: Loss and Damage [online] Find it here: https://cdn.prod.website-files.com/64b559baa0356cb403a29930/6787ff1371aea8ba751a47a5_WOR_TEXT_OF_REPAIR_AlEXIS.pdf.
Gumbs, A.P. (2024b). Survival Is A Promise: The Eternal Life of Audre Lord. London: Penguin Books Limited. Find it here: https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/survival-is-a-promise-the-eternal-life-of-audre-lorde-alexis-pauline-gumbs/7613814?ean=9780241505717.
Johnson, A.E. (2024). What If We Get It Right? Visions of Alternative Climate Futures. New York: Random House USA, Inc. Find it here: https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/what-if-we-get-it-right-visions-of-climate-futures-ayana-elizabeth-johnson/7756311?ean=9780593229361.
Kegan, R. and L. L. Lahey (2009). Immunity to Change: How to Overcome It and Unlock Potential in Yourself and Your Organization. Boston: Harvard Business Review Press. Find it here: https://bookshop.org/p/books/immunity-to-change-how-to-overcome-it-and-unlock-potential-in-yourself-and-your-organization-robert-kegan/16711272?ean=9781422117361.
Kendi, I.X. (2023). How to Be an Antiracist. New York: Vintage Publishing. Find it here: https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/how-to-be-an-antiracist-ibram-x-kendi/2835502?ean=9781529111828.
Kotter, J. (2012): Leading Change. Boston: Harvard Review Press. Find it here: https://bookshop.org/p/books/leading-change-john-p-kotter/10608280?ean=9781422186435.
Kotter, J.P. (1990).” What leaders really do” Harvard Business Review May-June:156-167
Kotterman, J. (2006). “Leadership Versus Management: What’s the Difference?” The Journal for Quality and Participation 29(2):13-17.
Lunenburg, G.C. (2007). “Leadership versus Management: A key distinction – in theory and practice” In: Educational Administration: The roles of leadership and management (F.L. Dembowski, F.L., ed.). Houston, TX: The NCPEA Press/Rice University.
Mercer, H.and T. Simpson (2023).” Imperialism, colonialism, and climate change science” WIRES Climate Change 14(6): 1-27 [online] Available at: https://wires.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/wcc.851.
Pegado, B. (2024). Make Good Trouble. London: Watkins Media Limited. Find it here: https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/make-good-trouble-a-practical-guide-to-the-energetics-of-disruption-briana-pegado/7620507?ean=9781786787873.
Perez, C.C. (2020). Invisible women: Exposing Data Bias in a World Designed for Men. New York: Vintage Books. Find it here: https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/invisible-women-the-sunday-times-number-one-bestseller-exposing-the-gender-bias-women-face-every-day-caroline-criado-perez/3558823?ean=9781784706289.
Saad, L. F. (2022). Me and White Supremacy: How to Recognise Your Privilege, Combat Racism and Change the World. London: Quercus Publishing. Find it here: https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/me-and-white-supremacy-how-to-recognise-your-privilege-combat-racism-and-change-the-world-layla-saad/3548830?ean=9781529405118.
Sealey-Huggins, L. (2018). The Climate Crisis Is A Racist Crisis: Structural Racism, Inequality and Climate In: The Fire Now: Anti-Racist Scholarship in Times of Explicit Racial Violence (A. Johnson and R. Joseph-Salisbury, eds.) [online] Available at: https://wrap.warwick.ac.uk/id/eprint/103485/13/WRAP-climate-crisis-racist-crisis-structural-racism-inequality-climate-change-VoR-Sealey-Huggins-2018.pdf.
Senge, P., Scharmer, C.O., Jaworski, J. and Flowers, B.S. (2005). Presence: Exploring Profound Change in People, Organizations, and Society. London and Boston: Nicolas Brealey Publishing.
Scharmer, O. (2016). Theory U: Leading from the Future as it Emerges. Oakland, CA: Berrett-Koehler Publishers.
Sinek, S. (2011). Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone To Take Action. London: Penguin Books. Find it here: https://bookshop.org/p/books/start-with-why-how-great-leaders-inspire-everyone-to-take-action-simon-sinek/16673537?ean=9781591846444.
Sultana, F. (2023). “Decolonizing Climate Coloniality” In: It’s Not Too Late (R. Solnit and T.Y. Lutunatabua, eds.). London: Haymarket Books. Find it here: https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/not-too-late-changing-the-climate-story-from-despair-to-possibility-rebecca-solnit/7314535?ean=9781642598971.
Sultana, F. (2022). “The unbearable heaviness of climate coloniality.” Political Geography 99(2022):1-14 [online] Available at: https://farhanasultana.com/wp-content/uploads/Sultana-Unbearable-Heaviness-of-Climate-Coloniality-2022.pdf.
White, J. and K. White (2022). Anti-Racist Leadership: How to Transform Corproate Culture in a Race-Conscious World. Boston: Harvard Business Review Press. Find it here: https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/anti-racist-leadership-how-to-transform-corporate-culture-in-a-race-conscious-world-james-d-white/6558082?ean=9781647821975.
Williams, J. (2021). Climate Change Is Racist: Race, Privilege and the Struggle for Climate Justice. London: Icon Books. Find it here: https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/climate-change-is-racist-race-privilege-and-the-struggle-for-climate-justice-jeremy-williams/5777011?ean=9781785787751.
